Me "so what do you need to, you know, CYA?"

Client "what's CYA?"

Me "you know, cover your...butt?" [insert long ramble explaining I don't like saying a**]

I Don't Swear

I don't like me cursing. So I don't do it (though admittedly I have some PG words that often get exchanged). I recommend people don't swear in the workplace, and as an HR leader even made it a team standard; but the truth is it rarely bothers me.

But even with a whole lifetime of practice it's hard not to swear. I mean, it seems so useful in the moment. And it's so...normal. For example, you probably don't need hints to complete the following:

"When the ____ hits the fan."

"Son of a ____."

"That's ____d up."

By far, though, the top of my list has to be "CYA" (Cover Your A**). It's catchy, memorable, common, and oh so business useful! But for years it's bothered me because a** is a word I choose to not say.

The Batman Challenge

So why not swear? Aside from my folks encouraging me not to, my childhood hero was Batman. He never swore, yet always had the perfect thing to say in every situation. So my self-created Batman challenge was to be in control, and not swear. Out of this my personal challenge became, if I find myself wanting to swear, what word or combination of words could do a better job?

Just because Batman doesn't do it doesn't mean other successful people don't. I've worked with and supported hundreds of leaders, and my list is very small of those who didn't swear. So why do they and others do it? Here are my five anecdotal observations.

1. Keep words flowing while generating a thought.
2. Build relationships.
3. Emphasize the severity of a point.
4. Make up for a gap in vocabulary.
5. Inject "shock value" into a moment.

Notice none of these reasons are inherently negative. I do the same things all the time without swearing ("um" has entered the chat).

A** to Actions

In the opening exchange I was coaching a tenured leader. They didn't know what CYA stood for, so I said "Cover Your Butt." It made the point, but still forced me to explain what the "A" normally stood for.

After our call I decided to research alternatives to CYA, and came across my two favorite options:

1. Posterior Protection (hilariously polite)
2. Cover Your Actions

"Actions!" I can't believe it's so simple and straightforward!

Action in Action

For years I focused on the importance of CYA, but ignored that "a**" brings the focus to me, and not the outcomes. When I re-defined the "A" as "Actions," I felt like I moved from defense to offense.

So how might this look different in application? 

Cover Your A** Email: Dear [higher up], I'm planning to do XYZ initiative, and wanted to ensure you were aware. Let me know if you have any concerns. Signed, James
Cover Your A** Internal Dialogue: Great, now if this doesn't go well [higher up] might defend me, and maybe even take the blame if it goes south. But above all they can't say they didn't know!

 Now let's change "a**" to "actions"

Cover your Actions Email: Dear [higher up], I'd like to push the envelope on XYZ initiative through [brief explanation of planned action]. I'm confident we'll have a positive outcome, but I recognize there is added risk I'm taking on. I welcome any feedback to ensure the best possible outcomes for [XYZ initiative]. Signed, James
Cover Your Actions Internal Dialogue: Great, now [higher up] is aware, and can provide added feedback and support. If this bombs it could still land on me, but I'm confident [higher up] at least won't be surprised if asked what I'm doing.

Similar outcomes, but a much better mindset.

Calls to Action

1. This isn't about swearing. This is about the marriage of intentions and outcomes. My challenge for you is to observe your current practices and ask if they are the best practices. I'd been using CYA for years before looking for an alternative, and now I'm even more confident using the new variation.
2. Instead of worrying about your own a**, shift the focus to the impact you wish to have through your actions.
3. As a bonus, I challenge you to try out not swearing for a whole month. See what words you can use in exchange to get the same intention across.

P.S. My Behind Closed Door Rule

While I don't encourage swearing, I have one big rule for 1:1 meetings: If you can't figure out the "right" way to say something, just say it the "wrong" way. No banned words. No judgment. Just unfiltered thoughts making it out in the open. We can use those thoughts to work towards our desired outcome in a truly authentic way.